Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts

Friday, June 25, 2010

a letter to Laken

Happy 6 months little girl,
 Alot has happened and we wish that we could have had you here with us, for all the "first" instead of us here without you. Mommy and Daddy still have our hard days somedays it takes everything in my will to get out of bed. Today was one of those days. I'm sure you are the one that gives me that last little push to get me up and going. We are going on vacation here in a couple of days it was supposed to be our first family vacation but its never going to be the same without you. Even when we do have your siblings. There will always be something missing and that something is you. I still have all of your things that we bought you I can't bring myself to give them away so I guess its a good thing we didn't have too much yet. Christmas will always have a sad bit to it. Even though it was the day that the Lord brought you into this world, I know that we were very sick and I couldn't help you. I think that is the hardest thing for me to get over, knowing that there was nothing I could have done for you to keep you growing safe inside. I love you so much little Lamb, you forever hold a piece of our hearts.

Love Mommy and Daddy
and of course Roxelle and Torque.



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Sunday, April 18, 2010

Mothers day approaching


Well as you may know if you look at a calandar mothers day is next month. When I went to target to buy some patio chairs I thought it would be a good idea to pick my mom up a card. Boy was I wrong. Looking at all those cards just cut my soul deep down and i couldn't bring myself to buy one. And as I was choking back my tears (really hate to cry in public) I realized that i won't get to truely enjoy this mothers day. I can't get over of why celebrate when my baby that I am mother to is gone. Mothers day is supposed to be happy and signify how good of a mom you are. But how good of a mom am I?  I couldn't take her to term or protect her and keep her safe? But I am hoping to get my bracelet with her birthstone charm, weight, lenght, time and day she was born. I'm really hoping DH remembers me telling him this back when I was pregnant. If not (hey baby here's my hint).


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