just some thoughts.

Well its been a while since I wrote last. There have been so many feeling going through my mind. I'm still grieving my daughter (I always will) so I find myself feeling guilty sometimes when I am joyous for having made it this far (32 weeks on the 3rd) with Quinn. Everything has been going beautifully this time so I find myself asking why again.  "Why is he thriving and What wrong with Laken?" I know there was nothing more we could do for Laken but that wonder is always in the back of my mind. As 36 weeks drawers closer I begin to wonder how I (we) will react when Quinn is born and placed in our arms. I'm positive I will have tears of happiness-of course- but also some of sadness. If it wasn't for Laken Quinn wouldn't be here or even thought of yet. I wonder how she would have reacted to him if we were going through this with her here.

I am on bed rest now; bp was slightly elevated when i had a trip to L&D.  And there was a jump in 24hour urine protein so just to be safe I've been put on modified rest. Im not complaining I'll do anything for this little boy.

We had our baby shower, got our humidifier and that was a blessing ( I had come down with a nasty cold) I'm using it in our room right now.  We are almost "ALL" ready for Quinn to get here (next month) just need some first aide stuff and diapering items. Oh and of course my rocking chair which my mother and father are giving me the antique ornate chair from the old country.